"Confused "
Pensive might be one way to describe my mood at this moment. Confused as hell would probably be a more accurate observation as I sit and watch a seal folic in the water of Mission Bay, San Diego. I am shivering on the 11th floor balcony of the Hyatt Islandia, 7am with a very attractive young woman curled in the bed in which I recently lay.
So now I find myself deep in thought, deeper in this quagmire, and cold as the water on that seal's bottom. And I wonder, who in God's heaven invented this notion of love? What made him randomly blend it with sex and romance? Why do jealousy, pain, doubt, insecurity, and utter insanity always seem to add spice to this mixture? I think it was Satan's last act as an angel of God. In his jealous rage, he decided to have a little fun at the expense of God's finest creation. Let's take man's greatest joy, passion, and weakness, this search for a mate, and make it their longest, most arduous, and excruciating journey. Let it be so dangerous that most of them loose their minds in the process!
So here I sit, a beautiful morning, in luxurious paradise, with a positively lovely (and near nude) woman in my bed. And I sit and shiver here like a fool. I sense an explanation is in order -- hell part of me is wondering as well.
Simply put, I just don't know what the hell is going on in this relationship. I need to ask myself: Am I playing the fool? Is she the one? Or have I just been used -- again?
