"Externalization "
EXTERNALIZATION
America suffers from a disease affecting almost everyone I know. A disease without physical symptoms; it hasn't any spots, or fever, or pain. A disease so common most of us fail to even notice that we too are afflicted. Yet a disease it is. A disease binding many of us down in mediocrity. A disease that prevents us from reaching our full potential. A disease that makes us whine and complain in the dismal state we have created for ourselves.
A disease called externalization.
But it's not my fault.
No one wants to take responsibility. No one wants to deal with the problem. Far easier to blame someone or something else. Easier to complain. Easier to whine. It's the teacher's fault. It's my parent's fault. It's the government's fault. It's the white man's fault. It's the black man's fault. It's your fault. But it's not my fault or my responsibility. What are you going to do for me?
I write about the denial most of this campus and this country (myself included, for I am far from innocent) lives in on a day to day basis. When a problem arises due to some course of action made by an individual or otherwise, people tend to remove from themselves the responsibility for the problem or the solution by blaming another person or entity.
Permit me to provide an example or two. How often have you heard a fellow student, or even yourself, blame the instructor for poor performance on a course requirement. "The class is boring." "I don't like the professor." "I'd have done better if the teacher motivated me." "You didn't tell us the test would be fill in the blank." Or how about these excuses: "I was too busy." "The traffic was sooo bad." Or, my favorite, "Something came up."
But it's not my fault.
I know you have heard these excuses from, I admit, even my mouth (and I hate myself every time I do it). But, in the end, only you are responsible for your actions and your results. You made the decision not to study because you dislike the professor. You made the decision to drink Friday night instead of studying for that final. You made the decision to wait until the week before the deadline to start the project, and, now with all your other responsibilities, only you are bogged down. But its the teacher's fault, right?
But, I can't do anything about it.
Human beings are defined by their actions. What you do. What I do. Change and improvement is the result of people taking positive action. Not, repeat, not by bitching about the problem. Do you have a problem? Has your life been less than perfect? So sad. So has mine. I propose this question: "What are you going to do about it?"
Yes, life can, does and will continue to force feed us all events and crisis we cannot control. However, we all have the power to make decisions and take action to make a difference -- to make our lives extraordinary. The past does not equal the future. You can improve the quality of your life. If you chose not to do so that is only your decision, only your responsibility, and only your fault.
Don't like the environment? How much do you recycle, and how often do you carpool?
Doing poorly in accounting? How much time did you devote to improve your grade? Do you not care? That is your choice.
Late for work? Follow the chain of events backward. Eventually, you made the decision that resulted in your being late. You chose to speed and get pulled over. You chose to stay out late and, thus, you slept through your alarm. Even if you are sick, you chose to make your rest and health the higher priority. Good or bad, nine times out of ten, you made the choice.
Problems with the government? Did you write your congressman? Did you run for election? Did you even vote?
I admit, I also externalize. I have blamed others for my own poor decisions or paths I have chosen to take. However, I am now taking action. Every day I try to take full responsibility for the direction of my life and my environment. Yes, I falter and I can, and will externalize, but that is my problem and only I can remedy it. I don't want to be some small, whinny, complaining individual, crying about why my parents, or my school, or my community, or my government did not do more to make me happy. I want my life to be extraordinary. I want your life to be extraordinary, and the only way it's going to happen is if we take responsibility and take positive action!
Make your life what you want it to be! Quit blaming the traffic or the government or your community. The power is in our own hands. Please, use it, and create the future you want to see. Don't agree with me? Hey, take some action and let me know. We will both grow as a result. The choice and the power is yours.
