"Thank You Letter "
Hi again. It's been a little while since my last letter to my friends. It's the holiday season, and as such, I've been thinking about the people I care about. Friends, family, the prototypical Hallmark stuff. Basically, the people who get this update.
To be perfectly honest, I haven't been feeling too hot lately. Been living with a general sense of negativity and stereotypical Gen-X distress. It gets lonely sometimes. Being single is tough. Living miles from those who love you the most and know you the best can be tougher. I don't like where my career is going, haven't liked what I've seen in the mirror, haven't been able to control my health, and I can't seem to score to save my @#$%ing life. Pardon the testosterone. It's a guy thing.
Regardless, I've felt better.
I went to work this morning, stared out the window, and wondered when I was going to be staring out a different window, dissatisfied with some other job. Hopefully at least a job that paid better. It's my usual cup of breakfast angst. I've been drinking it like morning coffee - only with the opposite effect.
But waiting for me this morning was a note from Derek Powazek, creator and moderator of the Fray (www.fray.com), in my opinion the best site on the web. He posted two new stories - one specifically celebrating Thanksgiving. Like all postings on the Fray, his note closed with a question: "What are you thankful for?"
Thankful? I have things to be thankful for?
Hadn't thought of that in a while.
And therein lies my problem. I've spent so much time focusing on what going wrong, I forgot what was going right. It's like a puzzle that has a few missing pieces. No matter how beautiful the picture, I just kept focusing on the holes. I got lost staring at the missing pieces of my life, and I missed the big picture. It's never completed. The joy is in the process. Focus on that and suddenly the holes seem terribly insignificant.
So with that in mind (and at the risk of sounding like an excerpt from those annoying Chicken Soup books), here is what I am thankful for:
I'm thankful Apple Computer is finally booming, and I don't have to write this letter on a stupid Windows system.
I'm thankful that I climbed to the top of a 1000' sandstone pillar this weekend and watched in awe as the afternoon sun illustrated why the massive cliff beside me was called the Rainbow wall.
I'm thankful I got our rope unstuck so I didn't have to bivy on that damn wall again.
I thankful the Roigaine is working - at least a little bit.
I'm thankful that even if it doesn't, a shaved skull is fashionable right now.
I'm thankful that I don't have to buy 50 stamps to share this letter.
I'm thankful that even if I did, the geniuses at the post office finally discovered self adhesive technology, and I'll never have to drag my tongue across the back of a postage stamp.
Dave Matthews - I love you man!
I'm thankful that because of those savvy e-commerce entrepreneurs, I don't have to fight my way through the malls of maddening holiday music, sickeningly kitschy window displays and infuriating crowds this year.
I'm thankful that those same entrepreneurs haven't yet turned the entire web into one big commercial advertisement for low interest rate VISA cards or sites for live nude teens.
Two words: Washboard abs.
I'm thankful that I know people who, through action or inaction, thoughts or deeds, successes or failures, and whether they know it or not, inspire me, enlighten me, educate me, elevate me.
I'm thankful that deep down, I know I can do anything even if sometimes I lack the self-confidence to try.
I'm thankful I've got people in my life who kick my ass into gear when that happens.
I'm thankful that I still have enough love around me and enough hope in my soul to realize that I ought to be thankful much more of the time. And I'm thankful that I live in a society where my needs are so overwhelmingly met that I need to be reminded of all I should be thankful for.
One last thing. Close your eyes. Take your hand and put it over your chest. Take a deep breath. Feel that?
For that, I am indeed eternally thankful.
Send me a note, give me a ring, pay me a visit. And by all means, let me know for what you're thankful.
Hasta.
PS: Thanks. For everything.
