"Unsent Love Letter Number 2 "
I’m not sure how to say this. I’m not sure I should. As if being sure could make it any easier. I just know that I can’t spend my days twisted with regret if I hadn’t tried.
Seeing you again reminded me of how much I had thought about you in the last few months, reminded me of what I had let slip past already, reminded me of what you could mean to me, and what - I hope - I could mean to you.
Every night since I saw you, I wondered when I might see you again. And when you drove home, I sat silent, bruised, aching, wanting to drive recklessly to you to tell you this, and yet terrified of what might come of it if I did.
I hadn’t felt that way in years. But regret is more enduring than heartache. And reward more potent than fear.
Let me just say this: I have liked you for nearly ten years. I think you are beautiful. Looking into your eyes, I see the western horizon, the color of sky from mountaintops, sunlight dancing off the Pacific in the afternoon. The love that escapes you radiates warm and yellow like glowing embers in a hearth. You are impossibly patient and kind.
I know this letter complicates things. It’s messy. It’s crazy. Too much has happened. Too much hasn’t. You’re too far away. This isn’t fair. You hardly know me. I hardly know you. This is weird. This will be too hard. It’s not the right time. You’ve been hurt. You can’t handle another long distance relationship. You’re not in the right place. You have another in your heart. This is too complicated. It’s risky. I’m not like you. You’re not like me.
You could give me dozens of reasons why this would never work. I could deny myself with excuses as to why I should never send this letter. Why I shouldn’t call. Why I should go back to my house on the beach, try to find some local climber girl, and try to put you out of my mind.
But if for one instant you felt drawn by this attraction, if only once you felt a mere spark of the energy I feel when you kiss me, if for just one fleeting moment, you wondered “what if”, then I beg you to give this, give me, give us a chance. We could fall. But we just might soar.
I suspect this letter is a bit of a surprise. I suspect you aren\'t sure how to respond. I\'m not sure either. I just wanted you to know how I feel. Wanted you to know you are wonderful. Wanted you to know that I really would like to see you again.
And if this letter, if these feelings, if this man before you fails to resonate with you, that\'s OK. But please know that the moment when you first kissed me, wrapped up in my arms on a warm autumn night, remains as music in my memories.
Smile today.
